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Millionaire Mind Factor 4: A Supportive Spouse

By Thomas J. Stanley on Sep 15th, 2011 in Mentor's Corner

Harry T. is 24 years old and wants to be a “millionaire one day.”  But he has grave concerns that he will be unable to find a spouse who will support his goal.

It seems that there is a big obstacle in preventing many men in getting rich even if he goes and follows all of your great ideas of playing great defense. The problem is women. How does a young man in his 20’s find a suitable wife that is not a Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian-like? It seems that many women strive to act and look like them. They are all very negative correlations to wealth building. It seems to be that the good ole housewife with loyalty from back in the pre 50’s is obsolete like social security and medicare.

Harry’s inquiry was well-timed.  I too have watched Kim, Paris and the “housewives” but not for entertainment.  It has been quite an education for me.  Imagine the millions of viewers who are influenced by these unrealistic “reality” women.  This is unfortunate because young people such as Harry begin to believe that Kim and Paris are the pro forma. 

I can assure you that the typical millionaire woman today has a lifestyle and a set of values which are at odds with what is being broadcast.  There are very few people who can make a living just by gossiping, shopping, partying and going to the spa/gym every day.  

So where can Harry find the next generation of millionaire women?  Let me give him one answer from my experience.  For 13 years I taught at Georgia State University’s business school.  Most of my students worked during the day and attended classes in the evening.  About half of these students were women, most of whom were single or divorced.  These young women had a great deal of ambition and a high propensity to achieve.    It is not a stretch to assume that people who work so hard during the day and pursue an education at night do not have a great deal of time  to gossip, shop, play . . . .  Plus those who earn their own way as most of these young women did are unlikely to be frivolous in terms of their consumption habits.

11 responses to “Millionaire Mind Factor 4: A Supportive Spouse”

  1. Danielle says:

    As a 26 year old woman who would also like to a millionaire one day, let me tell you that we have the same problem. Some men can be spendthrifts as well. And if you ask about their financial situation or their attitudes about money, they think you want to spend it all!

  2. CL says:

    I agree that many of the women who have the dedication to work during the day and attend classes at night are unlikely to be frivolous. I would also like to encourage the 24-year-old to look more deeply into the women surrounding him. I’m young, too, and I would love to find a husband who would support my goal to be a millionaire.

  3. Chris Behrens says:

    School, work, or church. All three will filter out the “rich trash”. Look for a woman who can have an interesting conversation.

  4. Dennis says:

    As a person who hires and trains young people my perception has been that those who see playing ‘offense’ and trying to make the most of their career are more likely to succeed financially. These are the people who will be tomorrow’s wealthy class. It is hard to think of a millionaire as a wealthy person in this day and age.
    A 2006 survey showed that a higher percentage of people making $75,000-$100,000 thought they were wealthy than did those with a net worth of $3-10 million.

  5. Eric says:

    I am in my 30’s and its been difficult to find women with my same views when it comes to money. Mr. Stanley maybe you should start a millionaire next door website for singles.

  6. Rhonda says:

    If you’re looking for women with the same type of values as you, then they will be in the same venues that you spend your time. Most likely you don’t notice us because we are unassuming and very NON-Kardashian types!
    I am frequently knee deep in mud trying to help corral the goats into the barn or at Tractor Supply getting supplies. At least once a month I will be set up at the chicken swap.
    I can be found at church or teaching ESL classes at a hispanic community center.
    I may also be found in the cafeteria of the hospital after midnight when my shift in the OR has been especially crazy. Usually near the microwaves with my leftovers brought from home.
    My signifigant other saw me working with others planting flowers in the median of the road that goes through our town. He decided to stop and give us a hand. I was covered in sweat and dirt & definately not in a presentable condition for meeting someone. He called me for over a month before I agreed to go out to lunch and I couldn’t be more happy two years later.
    He’s a roofer,scraps metal as a hobby, and loves to learn new things- just my type. We enjoy each other and rarely feel the need to go out & spend money. Though we do love the auction!

  7. 2nd time around says:

    Do not compromise on this issue! Money issues is one of the main reasons for divorce in this country. How a person spends their money tells much about their character. Of course, there are other key things to consider when choosing a mate besides money. Faith, family background, interests, goals are just a few other things to look for.
    If your desire is to be wealthy, then look for another with the same goal.

  8. Swintah says:

    I think the night classes idea is a good one. I’m an ambitious, frugal single woman who is enrolling in evening classes for her MBA this spring. All eligible bachelors of good character will be welcome to ask me out on dates!

  9. Ken Arnold says:

    I have a 23 yr single daughter. My advice to her and any other single is to meet the parents of the person you may date. How do they live? How do the parents treat each other? Are they divorced? How do they treat their son/daughter? Do they live by Stop Acting Rich or not?
    If you really like someone than conversations about money habits should be open communication and fun. If not, then don’t try and change someone. Just move on.
    Easier said than done, I know.

  10. A. Lynn says:

    I have to agree with Mr. Stanley! Head out to the college areas, and you’ll find women with a good drive to succeed. I’m one of the many future millionaires that spends 30 hours a week working, goes full-time to school, and still manages to cook and clean in what few spare hours I have left. I’m in my mid-20’s and can tell you that I was raised with loyalty, respect, ambition, and aptitude. And while I may not be single anymore, I have friends that think quite alike as me, so make sure you young men do not suddenly “disappear” once you find out the lady in question is “unavailable” because she may just have a single friend that’s right for you.

    And Mr. Stanley, thank you very much for mentioning both sides of the issue here; while half of this issue resides with the women (who feel they are simply entitled to pampered lives), the other half of this issue does reside with the men who put so much more stock into the looks of their so-called “trophy wives” than into who she is as a person, and this stigma has hurt our society.

    I cannot tell you how many times I’ve been turned down from relationships because of my intelligence and ambition. I’ve had many men come back years after the fact only to admit to me that my talents and ambition made them incredibly uncomfortable because they were not used to the idea of such an independent woman. They’ve kicked themselves for their own short-sightedness since then, or so they’ve said.

    (And because some of you out there will be vain enough to ask: yes, us future millionaire women are just as beautiful as the next lady. Some of us are even more attractive than Kim Kardashian I’d say)

  11. Angela says:

    I think the fact that the young man is lamenting the obsolescence of the pre-1950’s housewife is part of his problem. Although some young women still choose to be housewives (a perfectly fine choice), that life seems terribly dull to many of us these days. Why stay home when there is a world of opportunity out there? Anyway, does this guy really want a millionaire next door wife or does he want a housewife? The two may be found in the same woman, but that seems increasingly unlikely.

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