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Finding Mr. (or Ms.) Right

By Thomas J. Stanley on Sep 21st, 2010 in Millionaire Next Door Stories

I ‘d like to respond to a letter I received from a 60 year old woman who was recently widowed.  In it she discusses her feelings about being single, wealthy and alone. She and her husband were married for over 37 years. He was a successful business owner who left her with multi millions. Her situation is not unusual. Often people who own family businesses are at least somewhat parochial in their social interation outside of the family. Plus many of the people whom they know, including their neighbors, are not in their financial position. 

Now, I (the slightly multi-millionaire next door) find myself widowed, ready to move ahead with my life, beautiful, brainy, healthy with grown, educated, married successful children on their own.

You may be saying “poor, pitiful woman.” But in reality she would surely give up all of her wealth to have her husband still with her. 

. . . where does one find the widowed/divorced millionaire (if not next door-then within a reasonable distance)?  It does not seem to be the way things work nowadays that friends introduce you to someone suitable.  I know this to be a fact, as I have several friends in like situations. 

My reply to this woman is to read Chapter 6, Choice of Spouse, in The Millionaire Mind where I highlight the case studies of Terry and Miss Ann.  Both of these women were recovering slowly from devastating divorces.  They had found their husbands in single bars, and as one stated, “I dread going back to the dating game.”  In the end, both women had to change their affiliation groups and activites in order to find an appropriate mate. They each found their Mr. Right among adult single groups at houses of worship.

Whether one is wealthy or not, finding the right mate does take a conscious, proactive effort.  Change isn’t always easy.  Both both Terry and Miss Ann changed affiliation groups from singles bars to religious singles groups. The widow profiled here needs to “move on” as she states and stop depending on her “friends” to find Mr. Right.

2 responses to “Finding Mr. (or Ms.) Right”

  1. Chuck Rylant says:

    This is an important topic that most in our society prefer not talk about. People want to believe that love is more important than money, which it is, but as you’ve proven in your writings, selection of spouse is important in one’s financial success. And certainly, lack of financial success can and often does result in an unhappy love life.

    Your Millionaire Mind book is one of the most important books everyone should read. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Howard Roark says:

    I have been a long time single, now in my 50s, now a millionaire. I had girlfriends in the past, but even though I’m still in great shape, none of the women who I’m interested in seem to be interested in me. I’m not (nor have I ever been) religious so I cannot meet a woman in church. I was once successful in the online dating scene long before I became a millionaire. But I’m scared off these days, as there are a lot of scammers. I do not dress rich. My car is a nine year old Toyota Matrix. I earn more than most of my colleagues at work but they drive cars that are twice as costly as mine (when brand new). Just for a test, I once posted my real income on a dating site and got overwhelmed views of my profile, but many of them from mainland China or Russia. Later when I lied about my income and put it at a normal engineer’s salary, very few hits. Ms. Right is herself financially secure and she takes care of her health as much as I take care of mine. So I do not know the issue except that I live very cheap.

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